Category video games

Her Majesty’s Spiffing, Xbox One Review

EVER WONDER WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE, IF THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND WOKE UP ONE MORNING AND DECIDED TO DISBAND PARLIMENT? NO? ME NEITHER. JOIN ME FELLOW DRUNKARDS, AS I REVIEW HER MAJESTY’S SPIFFING.

Developed by BillyGoat Entertainment LTD, Her Majesty’s Spiffing is a click and point puzzle game that takes place in space. Our two main characters Frank (a military idiot), and Aled (typical science nerd stereotype), have been shot into space in a converted Big Ben spaceship. Their mission, “to boldly go where no man has gone before.”

YEP.  THEY ACTUALLY SAY THAT WITHIN THE FIRST COUPLE MINUTES OF THE GAME.

So you play as Frank, with Aled doing absolutely nothing, but blame you for everything that goes wrong. Aled seriously just sits there drinking his tea in the seat next to you, as you break all the ships controls. Here starts your adventure.

The ship is small, but for some reason it seems larger every time you tediously run back and forth from each section of the ship solving the puzzles.  Some puzzles are extremely easy, while some can be a little challenging. Half the challenge is remembering what you started doing in the first place.

I found myself saying, “ooooooooh, ok, I get it,” through most of the game. Trial and error is your best friend in this game. It’s a pretty short game, and most village idiots should be able to complete it within 2-4 hours.

The cartoony graphics are in par with most puzzle clicking games and fit the games humor quite well. The objects you can interact with become highlighted when you get closer. There are plenty of other objects, that I feel should have been interactive but maybe were scrubbed due to time constraints. It seems unfinished at times.

Voice acting is rather good for this game but music and other sounds are pretty forgettable. Out of the few sounds, the only one I can remember writing down is Frank’s boots tapping on the spaceship floor. Get used to it. You’ll hear it a lot.

I really wish I could say a bit more without ruining the plot of the game. If you enjoy some dry British humor, and only want to kill a morning or afternoon, than this may be the game for you. If you’re looking for anything else and short on cash, skip it for now. 

OVERALL, THIS ONE IS GETTING 2 BEERS OUT OF A 6 PACK FROM ME. VERY SHORT, AND NO REPLAY VALUE AT ALL.

THIS HAS BEEN DRUNKEN SPIDEY. UNTIL NEXT TIME, THROW ME A BEER.

Blood Bowl 2 – A Bloody Review

EVER WONDER WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO PLAY A FOOTBALL GAME IN THE MIDDLE OF A LORD OF THE RINGS UNIVERSE? WELL, WONDER NO LONGER. BLOOD BOWL 2 IS WHERE IT’S AT.

I never had a chance to play the first Blood Bowl game, and it’s a shame. Blood Bowl 2 is its own mix of Madden slowed down to a chess game and amped up with violence mixed in. All this comes with a setting of being in something like middle earth. Trust me, it needs to be played to do it justice.

There are a mix of races to play. Humans, Orcs, Dwarves, Elves, Lizard Men, and even a zombie/undead team thrown in. Also, several new racial teams to download including, Chaos Dwarfs and Khemri teams available at an additional price!

The Blood Bowl video game is based on a roll of the dice table top game made by Games Workshop. Doing my research, I see they have worked on Warhammer and Lord of the Rings games in the past and it really reflects on the world and story they have created in Blood Bowl. There is a lengthy solo mode and also a VS mode you can play against your friends.  

Blood Bowl is turn based and each action must be done with a simulated dice roll.  This will determine the success of tackling an opponent, intercepting the ball, throwing, and catching.  Pick up of the ball is probably the most tedious of the processes.  It’s probably the one action roll I would change if I could.

The graphics are great and fit the atmosphere of the world and game completely.  Sound is also great and has a great announcer dialogue track to keep you entertained while you think your way to victory.

Bob and Jim! The commentators

The learning curve is quite high so don’t be easily put off by its difficulty. It more than makes up for it once you master the gameplay. If you stick with it you will be rewarded.  Overall, this game is getting 5 beers out of a six pack from me. The overall quality, and depth, add up to hundreds of hours of gameplay.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BLOOD BOWL? HAVE A FAVORITE TEAM? LET US KNOW! THIS HAS BEEN DRUNKEN SPIDEY. UNTIL NEXT TIME, THROW ME A BEER

Founder of Namco, Masaya Nakamura Passes Away At Age 91

(Originally Printed February 1st, 2017)

IN HONOR OF MASAYA NAKAMURA. “MOM? DAD? CAN I HAVE A QUARTER?” THAT QUESTION WAS PROBABLY UTTERED IN THE 1980S MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE BECAUSE OF PAC-MAN.

The only thing that probably came in a close second was “Doesn’t New Coke suck?”

Masaya Nakamura, founder of Namco, and known as “the father of Pac-Man”, passed away January 22nd. His death was announced on January 30th by Namco. He was the man responsible for flooding every pizza shop, mall arcade, and store breezeway with a Pac-Man arcade machine during the 1980s. You couldn’t walk without tripping over one of the damn machines.

Pac-Man was designed and created by Toru Iwatani while distributed and produced by Namco. Under Masaya’s leadership, Namco made sure we will never forget his part of a world wide success Pac-Man would be. Pac-Man holds the throne for the highest grossing arcade game of all time.

In the early days of Namco, Masaya manufactured small amusement rides for stores and malls. Seeing the potential and growth of video games he started hiring programmers, staff, and started developing many popular games for distribution. In his later life he became a movie producer. He stepped down from Namco in 2002.

Without Masaya’s vision and tenacity to tap into the little known market of video games, we might all have been stuck with pong forever. Next time you see one of those vintage Pac-Man arcade machines pop in a quarter, and remember Masaya. Thank him by keeping his dream!

THIS HAS BEEN DRUNKEN SPIDEY.  TELL ME YOUR FAVORITE PAC-MAN MOMENT AND UNTIL NEXT TIME, THROW ME A BEER.

Dead Rising 4, Xbox One Review

YOU JUST HAD THANKSGIVING DINNER. ALL THE FOOTBALL GAMES ARE FINISHED. YOU TOOK YOUR TURKEY COMA NAP. WHAT’S NEXT TO DO? LINE UP AT THE MOTHA TRUCKIN MALL FOR BLACK FRIDAY SALES! THAT’S WHAT YOU DO IN DEAD RISING 4!

Frank West is back, and he returns where it all started with Dead Rising 4! Welcome to Willamette Colorado, and its Black Friday at the grand reopening of the Willamette shopping mall. What could possibly go wrong? Apparently, a lot.

Dead Rising 4 takes place in the year 2022, (Holy Shit, I’m redoing this article in 2022, I’m disappointed, no zombie outbreaks.) 16 years after the original incident. Frank gets drawn back in by a ZDC (Zombie Defense and Control) agent Brad Park, looking for one of Frank’s ex students, Vicky Chu. A few years earlier Vicky tricked Frank into investigating a secret military test facility for zombie research. After a stealthy investigation, Vicky and Frank are discovered by what seems to be a rogue military unit.  Vicky takes off on Frank, and leaves him on his own to escape.

All images courtesy of CAPCOM

Some time later Frank is convinced to join Brad on a military chopper and whisked away to the new Willamette Mega Plex shopping mall. For some reason they rebuilt the mall even bigger than before. (Its 2016 and I cant find a mall that has less than 20 closed stores anchored by a Bon Ton and a Sears, but Willamette is jammed full of any kind of store you can think of.  Hang on 1980’s malls the future looks bright for you!) The chopper crash lands smack dab into the food court and away we go!

First thing I want to say is way to go Capcom! No longer are we plagued with a “gotta get there now timer or you’re Greg Fockered scenario”. Dead Rising 4 plays out pretty much how you’ve wanted to play the series since it started. You can take your time through every section of the mall until you are ready to leave. Each new section is opened up by reaching a checkpoint of sorts. But feel free to go back to any section any time and just do your thing.

There are weapons and power ups in every nook and cranny that would make an English Muffin cry in shame. Plenty of craft-able special items to make. Feel free to earn xp to level your character up to your playing style with special perks. Take that unique photo, or selfie with the new camera system!  Multiple amounts of vehicles to drive and get your Deathrace on in any part of the game!

The graphics are beautiful for the setting. I cant remember being bogged down too much even with what seemed like a thousand enemies on screen at any given time. The sound is over the top squishy and crunchy with that special Christmas elevator music playing in the background. Everything just fits extremely well together.

There are minor flaws I found that can be slightly irritating. Sometimes you can see through some of the walls when the camera pans around. The way point on the compass can be hard to follow and you just end up on the wrong side of the mall even though you know in your head your traveling in the right direction. Sometimes when you’re crafting items, and need to break away from an incoming attack the blue print can stay on the screen an annoying amount of time.

The multiplayer is hordes of zombie fun! Players need to work together to achieve several different tasks to move on to the next challenge. Defuse the bombs, take pictures of a group of objects, or Focker up that boss blocking your way to the next section of the mall.

Overall, I really have to give this 5 beers out of a six pack. Ever since watching Dawn of Dead I’ve always wanted to be trapped in a mall with zombies. Call me “crazy”, saying that, but the joke’s on you. I’m pretty drunk.

This has been Drunken Spidey. Until next time, throw me a beer!