MARVEL: CIVIL WAR 2 REVIEW ISSUES 1-4

Marvel: Civil War 2 Review Issues 1-4

HEY GUYS! DRUNKEN SPIDEY HERE WITH A REVIEW OF MARVEL’S CIVIL WAR 2!

For each issue I review I’m cracking open a beer. So grab some brewskies and join me as we look at issue #1!!! Ooooookaaaaay. There appears to be an issue #0. Great. Now I gotta change the title and start all over. You know what? No I’m not. Deal with it.

Marvel: Civil War 2 Review Issues “0”-4

MARVEL: CIVIL WAR 2, ISSUE #0

Issue #0 has 4 different stories broken up between the issue. One is a story about She-Hulk (Jennifer Walters) defending a client in court on a crime he may commit in the future rather than actually committing said crime.  She brings up a great argument. Where do we draw a line? Personally, if we start locking people up for talking or thinking about, say robbing a bank? We may as well just start building sky scrapers for prisons.

NEXT STORY IS WAR MACHINE (JAMES ” RHODEY” RHODES), SITTING DOWN AND HAVING A NICE CUP OF DECAFFEINATED COFFEE WITH THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

To make it short, the president is offering Rhodey a job to groom him into becoming the next president. Straight up telling Rhodey that because he fears Iron Man (Tony Stark), Rhodey’s best friend, will run for president and get the job in the future. Wow. Thanks pres.

STORY 3 DEALS WITH DOC SAMSON TRYING TO PSYCHOANALYZE CAPTAIN MARVEL (CAROL DANVERS).

You know what? The last thing I remember Doc Samson doing anything of importance was when he “fixed” The Hulk (Bruce Banner). That was back in the 90s. We all know how that turned out… Let’s just move on.

THE LAST STORY OF ISSUE #0 IS PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT.

It deals with the catalyst for Civil War 2 and is probably the only must read story of the issue. This tells the origin of Ulysses, an Ohio State College student. The campus was subjected to the Terrigen mist. The Terrigen mist is a substance that can unlock hidden and potential mutant abilities and powers in humans. This turns you into what they call “Inhuman”(Look, if you wanna know more about Terrigen Mist Google it. I don’t have this kind of time, and this extra issue is already eating up my potential for a beer buzz).

So Ulysses is exposed to the mist and he awakens from his cocoon. (Yeah. Cocoon. Like I said Google it.) His eyes go red. He screams holding his head. Then Ulysses seems to have been teleported into a post apocalyptic world.

This ends issue #0.

I give it 3 beers out of a six pack (2 of the 4 stories just seem to be filler and have no bearing on the actual events as I can tell so far).

MARVEL: CIVIL WAR 2, ISSUE #1 (FINALLY.) BEER #2.

This issue starts with Ulysses running through the woods screaming “Make it stop!” He’s confronted by the Inhumans. They offer to help him with the new powers he is trying to deal with. Next scene we have all of Marvel’s elite superheroes teaming up to defeat a threat from another dimension. They seem utterly prepared for this event and take down the threat with ease, thanks to the Inhumans early warning. They all go back to Stark tower and celebrate with drinks for the victory. Tony and Rhodey have a chat about how Rhodey’s armour is outdated. Tony stark makes a great speech.  

They all toast with alcohol, except the speech giver Tony. Marvel went out of their way to show Tony holding a cola.

So the Inhumans reveal that Ulysses can see the future and that is how they were able to forewarn the heroes of the impending doom. After much debate, Iron Man and Captain Marvel become the protagonist and antagonist. Tony believing we should just let the future become as is. Carol wanting to use Ulysses’ visions to save the future.

Ulysses soon has another vision. He is coddled by Medusa (Queen of the Inhumans). Then asks her to call on Captain Marvel and her super team the Ultimates. This is where I start to get pissed off.  I’m glad I grabbed a six pack.

ISSUES “0”-1.5, CIVIL WAR 2 FREE COMIC BOOK DAY ISSUE, AND 1.6-4

MARVEL: CIVIL WAR 2, ISSUE # FREE COMIC BOOK DAY

BEER #2.5

Apparently, we have to make following a story as hard as possible. Don’t worry Marvel, I got it! This issue takes place smack dab in the middle of issue #1. This tells the story of Ulysses’ next vision. He sees a vision of Thanos coming to Earth to look for a cosmic cube.

Rhodey Rhodes shows up at the Ultimates base to visit Carol Danvers. Apparently they are knocking boots.

Black Panther just seems to be there to vomit at 2 adults making out.  Oh no!  How hideous. This is when the Inhumans show up and tell them about Thanos. Carol gets a team together. Rhodey is there and just decides he will tag along. They set up a trap for Thanos.  

Although the trap works they are left with a consequence, the cost of She-Hulk being possibly paralyzed and in a coma, and War Machine wishing he had a regular coffee instead of decaf, right before Thanos took his life.

THERE IS ALSO A SECOND STORY THROWN IN ABOUT THE NEW WASP.

It doesn’t seem to have anything to do with Civil War 2 so I could care less.

I rate this one 3.5 beers. 2.5 for the Thanos story. 1 for the wasp.

MARVEL: CIVIL WAR 2, ISSUE #1.5

BEER #3.5

OK so back to the 2nd half of issue #1. This is where Tony learns of the death of Rhodey Rhodes and rages over to the Ultimates base. Now he wishes he updated Rhodey’s armor for free instead of telling his best friend to come up with 4 billion dollars. Tony confronts Captain Marvel in front of a comatose She-Hulk.

Danvers tells Tony they went on a mission based on a vision from Ulysses.  After an exchange of words, Tony storms off saying, “He will make sure none of them play God again.”  Here ends issue #1.

I rate this 3 beers out of a 6 pack.  Only because they split up the story for no reason other than making it a pain in my ass.  

Also I want to point out that it seems the Peter Parker, Spider-Man was an afterthought in this issue.  He’s in very few panels and it just seems like they scribbled him in to just say, “hey it’s Peter Parker Spider-Man.”

Marvel might as well just kill him off permanently and give it to Miles Morales already.

MARVEL: CIVIL WAR 2, ISSUE #2

BEER #4

This issue is pretty cut and dry. Tony heads to the Inhumans base in a new stealth armor prototype he built.

After a brief tussle with Medusa and the Inhumans he successfully abducted Ulysses and takes him to a secret base. Tony ties Ulysses up and hooks him up to his super computer and downloads a copy of his brain. Tony’s A.I. (Friday), starts trying to analyze Ulysses brain to figure out how his visions are manifested. He wants to find out if his visions are absolute or if they are affected by his mood or body chemistry.

The Inhumans gather to retaliate on Tony. Carol Danvers, made aware of the situation Tony has created, grabs her own team. After an exchange of words, the Inhumans and Ultimates decide to work together to find Ulysses and stop Tony from doing anything rash. After finding Tony and Ulysses, Tony tries to convince both sides that he is just trying to prove that Ulysses’ visions of the future are not 100% accurate. Just then Ulysses has another vision. He now has the power to project these visions into other people’s minds. This vision is of Bruce Banner, The Hulk raging out and killing all the heroes. Now all heroes band together and fly out to confront Banner.

I rate this issue 3 beers out of a six pack again.  My only problem is that in issue #1 when they were fighting to save She-Hulk’s life the doctors were saying they needed Bruce Banners help to save her.  No one seemed to be able to find him.  Now all of the sudden Carol and Tony just know where he is.

MARVEL: CIVIL WAR 2, ISSUE #3

BEER #5

At this point I’m glad I bought a 6 pack of beer and didn’t just have 4 in the fridge. I’m a man of my word.

This issue briefly starts off with a court hearing where Matt Murdock is questioning heroes about what happened when they confronted The Hulk. It eases in and out of the court proceedings and the confrontation. Tony and Carol ask Bruce to step outside where just about every hero in the Marvel Universe is waiting for him.

At this point, I heavily agree with Tony. How do you not ask yourself bringing an army half way across the country to confront a Bruce Banner who hasn’t changed into Hulk in over a year, if this isn’t what caused him to Hulk out? At this point Bruce has to feel threatened by a show of force this big. No shit he’s gonna Hulk out. Well of course Bruce starts getting a little angry. But just before you think he’s going to change into the jolly green giant, an arrow rips through the air and punctures a hole through Bruce’s chest killing him.  

It turns out the trial that is intertwined with this story is for Clint Barton (HawkEye) being charged with the murder of Bruce Banner. The defense argued the case that Clint was only doing what was asked of him by Bruce. He designed a special Hulk killing arrow, and left a video diary explaining how he asked Clint to kill him if it ever looked like the Hulk would return. The issue ends on 2 cliffhangers. One being the verdict of Clint Barton. The other of Tony’s A.I., Friday being able to interpret some of the data downloaded from Ulysses’ brain.

I’ll give this 4 beers out of a six pack. The killing of the Hulk surprised me. Things are finally starting to pick up.

MARVEL: CIVIL WAR 2, ISSUE #4

BEER #6

Alright!  We made it!  I’m almost drunk.  It’s getting hard to type.  But let’s power through.  

This issue starts off with Carol Danvers having a face to face with She-Hulk after she is freshly out of a coma. Carol breaks the news about Bruce to her and explains they are just about to announce the verdict on Bruce’s murderer HawkEye!  

Clint Barton is found not guilty and is released for custody. We now switch between Tony Stark pouring over the data on Ulysses’ brain scan trying to prove his visions are just based off an algorithm and not absolute. Then we have Carol Danvers following up on every vision she can. Eventually, Tony calls a meeting of the heroes trying to convince them they could be locking away innocent people based on the data he’s found. Carol refuses to believe it.

 This is where the heroes start to take sides. Some cross to Iron Man’s logical thinking others cross over to Captain Marvel’s belief in faith. The issue ends with Tony having Night Crawler teleport out a suspect in custody at the Ultimates base. They all meet outside with the 2 sides ready to clash in what seems will be the first battle in Civil War 2.

I rate this issue 4 beers out of a 6 pack. It finally seems like we are getting to the beef of this story!

Overall the 6 issues reviewed in this series have earned a 17.5 beer score out of a possible 36 pack you can get in one of those carry coolers you just need to add ice to. It’s keeping my interest. In my opinion Marvel has a habit of starting slow and hurrying to finish with these big events. Lets hope the pace stays slow and the story has a chance to develop more.

THIS HAS BEEN DRUNKEN SPIDEY.  UNTIL LATER.  THROW ME A BEER.