Tag comics

THROWBACK THIRSTDAY WITH AMAZING FANTASY #15.

AN AMAZING FANTASY #15 REVIEW

Sometimes I read Amazing Fantasy #15, and I drink myself to sleep. It’s been many years since I sold my rights to Marvel for a pack of smokes, and a case of beer. This might come to some surprise to you folks but we all make mistakes. So let’s just get on with it, as I review my origin story.

WE START OFF SHOWING HOW MUCH OF A SOCIAL REJECT I AM.

Apparently, no one likes sweater vests and science. Except maybe my dear old Aunt May, and my Uncle Ben. Trust me when I tell you, Mays wheat cakes are to die for!

In the first couple pages I thought I was reading a pro bullying flyer for the 1960s. It makes me look so beat down I thought they were about to introduce me as a Super Villain at first.

Avoiding Flash Thompson and girls like the plague, I head into the radiation experiment at the science fair. Now back in the 60s we didn’t believe in protective suits to shield us from radiation. It was deemed so safe back then we just opened up these experiments to the public. The government is just being overprotective now a days. I can’t think of anything ever going wrong with radiation experiments.

SON OF A BITCH, OK, there is at least one time. Oh wait.

ALRIGHT.  LET’S JUST FORGET I SAID ANYTHING.

So a tiny spider bites me after being subjected to the experiment. I start to feel sick and head outside.  Being narrowly missed by a speeding car, I jump out of the way and grab onto a building. This is where I realize I have gained incredible powers.  The proportionate strength, speed, and agility of a spider to be exact!

I decide to test my powers further by entering a wrestling match with Crusher Hogan for 100 bucks. I only have to last 3 minutes! So I decide to conceal my identity as to not embarrass myself if I lose, and throw on a pair of bright red panty hose over my face. Bless you Aunt May.

After beating Crusher Hogan with ease a talent agent at the match decided he could make me a lot of money. I took him up on the deal. Soon I was booked on TV shows and stages all over New York! I even created a special Web fluid that I could shoot out from these devices I made on my wrists! I even sewed myself a fancy new costume!

After some delicious milk and crackers. Oh yeah!  Crackers. Screw cookies. I became the Spider-Man!

Now. I’d like to say all my new found fame of dazzling crowds didn’t go to my head (like the 3 shots of whiskey I just drank). One night after a show I could have stopped a man being chased by police.

To be honest I just didn’t want to get sued by the robber if I hurt him. Hey, that’s what police are for right? Anyways, months go by and I’m the sensation of the decade. Until one night arriving home.  I’m met by a police car. I’m told my Uncle Ben has been shot and killed.

I also want to point out that this cop is on the scene of every crime in New York. Looks like I’m not the only Superhero hiding something.

Hearing the news about my Uncle Ben I rush to put on my costume and head over to the old abandoned Acme factory to where my Uncle Ben’s murderer is holding up. I sneak inside and knock the guy out cold. After seeing his face in the light I realize that Uncle Ben’s murderer, is none other than the same robber I failed to stop months earlier.

This is when I realized with great power, comes great responsibility. If only I would have stopped him Uncle Ben would still be alive. How ever May made a “killing” on his rice recipe but that’s a story for another time.

OVERALL, I LIKE THIS ORIGIN TELLING OVER THE REAL THING.

I’m giving it 6 beers out of a 6 pack.

That won’t happen much at all. Trust me, I like beer way too much.

THIS HAS BEEN DRUNKEN SPIDEY.  UNTIL LATER.  THROW ME A BEER.

The Adventures of Blackie, A Marvel Zombies Halloween Review

I DIDN’T EVEN SEE DARE DEVIL IN THIS COMIC. SO APPARENTLY ITS CLICK BAIT, BUT IN PAPER FORM.  WHAT I DID SEE IN MARVEL ZOMBIES WAS A CUTE, ADORABLE, AND FURRY LITTLE KITTEN CALLED BLACKIE!!! LET’S FACE IT, IT’S ABOUT TIME WE GOT A COMIC ABOUT A REAL HERO.

So we start Blackie’s adventure being stuck in a post apocalyptic zombie world. Most of the Marvel Zombie heroes and villains have been infected with a virus that makes them want to eat human flesh. We have an older Kitty Pryde and her son she created with Colossus, Piotr. After a small Zombie incursion Piotr and Kitty find Blackie, safe and sound from any zombies inside a wall in their house.

Blackie was very confused as to why they removed him from his safe home and decided to imprison him. Blackie counted the days down on the calendar where he would execute his plot to escape from these terrible captors. Piotr wanted to celebrate Halloween. He kept bugging his mom for candy and a costume. Living in a zombie apocalypse just didn’t seem to be enough like Halloween for him.  After his mom found him a costume, decorations, and carved some Jack O’lanterns, Piotr still wasn’t happy. His mom didn’t have any candy. Kitty decides she will go out into the zombie apocalypse and find Piotr some candy. During the conversation Blackie took his chance and slipped away from his prison. Piotr, (the most annoying name to write with auto-correct) notices Blackie running away and decides to pursue, and recapture his prisoner.

Piotr starts searching the town for Blackie. He sees a light on in one of the windows and knocks on the front door. This doesn’t seem to be odd to Piotr that its the only house that looks brand new on the block, and that there is also electricity. Hes greeted by an old man at the door. Being a day early for Halloween, the old man wants nothing to do with the young man and sends him on his way.

Piotr quickly asks the old man if hes seen Blackie. The old man says no, and tells him to stay off the streets. Piotr starts to walk away and as he turns to look back, the strange house has disappeared. OOOoooOOOooooOOoooooHHHhhh!  Spooky. Piotr then spots Blackie in the distance and the chase is back on.

Piotr, during his search for our hero, ends up being trapped by a group of zombies featuring Darkhawk, Luke Cage, Squirrel girl, and a couple of others. Just as Piotr is about to be eaten, he’s rescued by his mother. A chase ensues and they end up being cornered in an old school. As the Zombies bare down on them, the old man Piotr met earlier, shows up. He uses a special ability to burn the zombies up and save them. Kitty Pryde realizes that the old man is really Mephisto. Mephisto only saved their lives in hope of one day obtaining their souls which are few and far between. Mephisto then slips away while Kitty and Piotr head back home.

As for Blackie. He was recaptured by Kitty and placed in a smaller cage, but don’t worry. I saved him later on. He lives with me now and that my friends is another story.

MARVEL ZOMBIES GETS 2 BEERS OUT OF A SIX PACK. IT JUST DIDN’T HAVE WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR. NOT ENOUGH OF THE TRUE HERO BLACKIE.

THIS HAS BEEN DRUNKEN SPIDEY. UNTIL NEXT TIME. THROW ME A BEER.

Comic Etiquette: Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone

TWO STORIES ABOUT HOW COMIC ETIQUETTE SHOULD BE HANDLED IN SHOPS.

What is it about appearance that makes our minds go crazy? Whether you admit it or not our brains default to judging books by the cover. The brain loves shiny objects, vibrant colors, tasty smells, and pleasant sounds. The buck stops at the brain. It’s our self consciousness that separates us from the rest.

How many times have you wanted the right side of your brain to catch up with the left? It could be something as small as a 3rd helping of food or your 21st shot on your 30th birthday. Whether it’s the next day, week, or year, you are constantly rechecking the quick decisions your brain made. There is always something you wish you did differently no matter how small or large.

Me? I’ve made more mistakes in my life than I can count. I’ve made a lot of decisions at first glance. Hell, I still do, and am no better at it with age.

I had a comic guy for over 20 years whom I started a box with. A box is a comic term where your comic guy takes issues from a list you made so he knows what to set aside for you. He would check it off your list and set it inside a box for you to pick up so you didn’t have to show up every Wednesday and hope the issue you wanted was still there.

My father started this for me just out of high school. His name was on it, and all I had to do was go there every week and pick up my comics I had set aside. Apparently, my father put down his work phone number as a contact. When I didn’t show up for a month or so, my comic guy would call his work and leave a detailed message that his Spider-Man comics he ordered were ready for pick up. This continued for several years, until I went in and gave my cell phone number. 

Now this comic shop was filled to the brim with back issues, new issues, action figures, and just about anything geek related. You couldn’t get through an aisle without stepping over something, and they were barely big enough to stand in. Over 20 years of walking in the door and I never felt out of place, and my comic guy always had questions about what I was reading while he rang up my 300 plus dollars of comics.  

My comic guy was in his mid to late 40’s, skinny, with a long blonde ponytail. He was always happy to see me, even after sometimes it would take me 3 months to get to the shop to pick up my comics. I got to that point where he would only call me when he ran out of room to hold all the titles I put aside.

Two years ago, my comic guy got an illness and died. I didn’t know until 3 months later. He just died. I found out from one of my friends who frequently went in and chatted with him. My comic guy’s girlfriend was trying to run the shop in his absence. I might never have known. For years I remembered I collected comics because he would call me.

Picking up for that last time, I came to a decision. I wasn’t going to collect comics anymore. To me, my comic collecting died with my comic guy. Little did I know that I was just closing one book, and opening another.

I found myself starting to hit flea markets again. I started paging through boxes of comics in tiny dusty booths. I was pulling out gems of a lost past that I had long separated myself from. There were 2 foot piles of comics savagely stacked up with out backboards and covers. I was looking throughout them all.

About a month ago I was out on a date, walking to a local pizza parlor in town. The girl I was with pointed to a shop window with a bunch of comic book posters. She tugged on my arm and said, “Hey, lets go in and check it out!”

“No, no, I’m OK.” I tugged back.

She let go of my arm and started walking in the door. I followed her in. The store was just starting out. It had maybe one of each comic that came out that week left on the shelf. The man at the counter was on the computer with another gentleman looking over his shoulder. Clearly this man was one of his friends.

“Are you guys open?”  my date asked.

“Yeah.”  The Simpsons comic guy said.

He never looked up at us.  I asked several comic book questions that only true comic lovers would know. He just grunted at me. I can only assume it was because I’m extremely attractive. All true. My date looked like she was going to punch him, so I quickly exited the store pulling her arm.

Little did this guy know, I am a major collector. I never walked back in to that store. If he would have engaged with me just once, he probably would have had a customer for life. But he didn’t.

In all seriousness, I don’t have the comic collector look. If you met me you would never expect that I have a broad knowledge in geekdom. As guilty as I am in judging with my brain, there is always another judging you. So next time a person walks through your business door, take a deep breath, and greet them like they will be your next best friend. They just might end up being that.

THIS HAS BEEN DRUNKEN SPIDEY.  UNTIL NEXT TIME, THROW ME A BEER.

Flaws and Choices with Smoking in Comics

IS IT A NECESSARY FORM OF CENSORSHIP BY ELIMINATING SMOKING IN COMICS OR A MISSED OPPORTUNITY TO TEACH A LESSON?

“Hey Bub, want a cigar?” – Wolverine

First off, let me say I don’t condone smoking unless you are of legal age, but never has anyone walked up to me on the street and asked me that. Trust me, I’ve walked down a lot of awful streets. I bring this up because something is starting to bother me. Why can’t Wolverine have a cigar anymore? Yes I know Marvel issued a ban on smoking in comics, and Disney doesn’t allow smoking in it’s movies. But why can’t a character be flawed? Have we lost our own abilities to make a choice?

J. Jonah Jameson smoking a cigar never made me want to smoke a cigar. Watching Ben Grimm smoking a cigar never made me want to smoke a cigar. You get the picture. Now, I bet your saying, “Well smoking is bad, and our children shouldn’t see Super Heroes smoking cigarettes and cigars.” Well ok. That’s a great opinion. But when I read Spider-Man starting at 5 years of age, half of the characters in Marvel smoked. Hell, back then they sold candy gum cigarettes that blew sugar out of them to replicate smoke. 

I’m sure at some point I asked my parents what Ben Ulrich was doing. My Mom probably said “It’s a cigarette. Don’t ever do it, it’s bad for you.” Too bad we rarely listen to our parents. Now a days some kids barely have interaction with their parents. Let us be honest here. If kids are looking up to heroes, then should heroes be flawed? Just like people in real life? A person who smokes cigarettes is not a monster just for smoking. Real life heroes can be flawed. We have alcohol consumption, drug use, racism, physical violence, murder, and any other possible crime in almost everything we read. Comics teach what is right and what is wrong every day. So why is smoking the most horrible thing banned from some comics?

Instead of ignoring the issue, take it head on. Have other characters berate the heroes into quitting. Don’t just make it disappear. We, as kids and adults deal with these issues night and day for our whole lives. As a kid who read comics, and related to so many situations with characters growing up, smoking was the least of my worries. Let’s face it kids have it harder every year. Comics can teach some kids more values and decision making than anyone in real life. Smoking in comics can be used in other ways to make a point. So let Wolverine have a cigar with his beer. Let people make their own decisions. Ignoring issues, doesn’t solve the problem.

THIS HAS BEEN DRUNKEN SPIDEY.  UNTIL NEXT TIME, THROW ME A BEER.

Swing is a tale of a couple as they improve their romance by exploring their sexuality through swinging.

The third volume of Swing is finally here and Top Cow Productions proves that they are willing to take a risque topic and strip it of the social taboos around it. When I read the first volume I thought this would be a tale I couldn’t wrap my head around the concept of swinging. I’d heard of it but it seemed alien to me. The second volume made the concepts make more sense.

With the third volume officially available I find myself no longer confused about the subject and able to enjoy the story for what it is at it’s heart- a love story. It’s an unorthodox love story but still a love story. I’ve always been a fan of a good love story but typically want it to be intertwined with action, adventure and some comedic moments. In terms of action the story lacks quite a bit except a little when Dan joins in a raid on his favorite MMORPG with the other characters from the Sunstone universe. The whole lifestyle is it’s own adventure for both Dan and Cathy, just not one I’m interested in partaking.

As with everything I’ve read that Matt has penned this book is exceptionally well written and is matched by the great artist Yishan Li. While their journey is not one I would partake in it is written in a way that makes sense for the characters and there remains one constant- trust. Without trust none of it will work for either of them and I love that this is the real focus of the story because I believe that all relationships require trust for them to work. The is of course maintenance that needs to be undergone to help the relationship build the trust but if there is no trust then none of it will work in the end.