Throwback Thirstday: Amazing Spider-Man #1 Review, Part 2 of 2
HELLO AGAIN BEER MATES! WELCOME BACK TO ANOTHER REVIEW OF ONE OF MY ADVENTURES! TODAY WE WILL BE LOOKING AT THE SECOND STORY IN AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #1. STARRING ME! PETER. PETER PARRRLLLMER? WAIT.
This adventure stars Peter Palmer as the Amazing Spider-Man. Well screw me. What do I do now? Guess I won’t be reviewing this in the first person. For you guys I’ll review it.
So Palmer has a great idea that by joining the Fantastic Four he can make some money. So he heads to the Baxter Building to let them know he’s available. Stupid idea. Can you imagine them having to change all their logos, merchandising, and trademarks just for this kid Palmer to make money?
So after Palmer dresses up as Spider-Man he has a brief misunderstanding with the Fantastic Four which turns into an all out brawl. Spider-Man really kicked some major ass before Reed calms everyone down.
So after kicking the “Fantastic Four’s” hides, you would think that would gain Spider-Man some respect. Nah. He’s only better than all four of them combined.
They also believe the bad press Jonah Jameson has been writing in the papers.
So Palmer takes off out the window calling them a bunch of pikers. Pikers. Hmm. Ok. We gotta Google this.
Well. That was disappointing. Was hoping for something different. So, next we shift our attention to the first appearance of the Chameleon!
Looks like Palmer is going to have his hands full!!!! Seriously. If Chameleon ties up his friend the Janitor like that, look out Palmer! But does he really need a multi-pocket disguise vest to become the janitor? It’s the 60’s. He probably could have brown paper bagged some liquor and threw a broom over his shoulder and walked into the Pentagon. So after successfully stealing some secret plans the Chameleon decides to watch the news.
The Chameleon plots his next caper.
After thinking up his next plot involving framing Spider-Man, the Chameleon puts his plan in motion.
Apparently Chameleon is a genious. Must be those brain goggles he wears. He never seems to take them off. After activating his machine to lure Spider-Man into his trap, we return to a scene with Peter Palmer picking up the “Spidar” waves. Yep, still Peter Palmer.
One thing Palmer has over me is he’s a way better dresser. No sweater vests for this man! So Palmer heads out to find the source of the signal. Meanwhile Chameleon dressed as Spider-Man steals more secret government plans. He starts his getaway to the roof just as Spider-Man arrives!
Hahahahahha. He’s got his multi-pocket disguise vest with him! This guy is terrific! So Chameleon takes off in a helicopter that was parked on the roof and Spider-Man gives chase. After catching up to Chameleon trying to trade his secret documents to the Russians, Palmer grabs the Chameleon and takes him back to the rooftop where the police are waiting.
Just as Palmer is about to hand Chameleon over to the police, he gave Spider-Man the slip and ran back inside the building to disguise himself as a police officer. Palmer uses his spider sense to figure out which officer is the Chameleon.
So let’s pause here for a second. Something is really bothering me. Those goggles Chameleon wears. He never seems to take them off.
Okay. Apparently I can’t figure out how to rotate the image. But this is an average size head replica. Looks like the Chameleon as well. Nice. So I’m going to try putting on a mask with goggles on.
This looks awful!!!! How can these cops not notice that Sloth from The Goonies is wearing a Spider-Man mask. It was also incredibly hard to put on and took me about 5 minutes.
So Spider-Man runs away during the scuffle and the cops end up catching Chameleon. One thing Palmer and I have in common is running away like a little girl crying.
SO THAT ENDS THE TALE OF PETER PALMER THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN . I GIVE THIS 4 BEERS OUT OF A SIX PACK. GOOD JOB PALMER. CHEERIO!
THIS HAS BEEN DRUNKEN SPIDEY. UNTIL NEXT TIME. THROW ME A BEER.