WHAT IF CAPTAIN AMERICA HAD BEEN ELECTED PRESIDENT?

What If Captain America had been elected president?

THIS IS REALLY AWKWARD. DOES ANY OF THIS CAPTAIN AMERICA COMIC LOOK OR SOUND FAMILIAR TO ANYONE OUT THERE? READ THESE FEW PANELS. I’LL MEET YOU AFTERWARDS.

Well. How bout them apples? No matter who you wanted to win the election the similarities of those panels remind me of things we all heard and saw. I’m not getting any further into the politics of it all, but what a coincidence.

SO, LETS REVIEW, WHAT IF #26, VOLUME 1, APRIL 1981.

Steve Rogers, Captain America, is asked to run for president by a new emerging political group named the populist party. In this version of the Marvel Universe, Steve decides he will run and win the presidency. Steve picks Senator, Andrew Jackson Hawk as his running mate. Rogers and Hawk win with ease in both popular and electoral votes.

After winning the election, Captain America reveals his true identity as Steve Rogers. Steve ends up spoiling his own assassination plot during his inauguration speech. He captures his would be assassin before the secret service can even act.

We time jump a little and we are shown a new solar satellite system launched by America to end our dependency on foreign oil. By harvesting the suns rays it can project energy anywhere needed in the world. It also can be used as an all powerful laser projecting weapon.

Meanwhile, a conflict has broken out in the country of San Pedro. Steve decides instead of setting American soldiers on the ground he would arm rebels with solar laser weapons. With these weapons the rebels were successful in their revolution of San Pedro. This sounds like a completely great plan. I don’t think anyone has ever tried this before. No chance it would ever bite us in the ass.

Steve decides to meet with Jacinto Morez, the new president of San Pedro. Soon after Steve arrives, Jacinto reveals himself to be none other than the Red Skull! Catching Steve off guard, and capturing him, Red Skull reveals his plot to use the solar satellite to blast a laser right into the heart of Washington DC!

For some reason, for as smart as Red Skull is, he decides to throw Steve Rogers’ shield into the cage with him.

So of course, Steve uses his shield, to escape his cage. The two end up in a battle to the death and Steve makes one final sacrifice to save his country. During the battle. the laser blast gets redirected to their own location and fries them both, only leaving Captain America’s shield behind.

So that was actually pretty good. I give it 4 beers out of a 6 pack. As a final message if you’re not happy with how our election results ended up, just remember there is always another choice. This was mine:

God bless America!

THIS HAS BEEN DRUNKEN SPIDEY.  UNTIL NEXT TIME, THROW ME A BEER.